I’m Going to Miss These Days? So Far, that’s a “No.”

Brian Thatcher
3 min readNov 8, 2021

This past Halloween, I did something I haven’t done in 14 years: I stayed home. My oldest son took the younger kids Trick or Treating while I hung out at the house and passed out candy. Since that night, I’ve had no regrets, no remorse, and haven’t spent any time wondering what memories I may have missed out on.

And you know what? I’m good with that.

My entire life, and especially since I’ve become a father, people much older than me keep saying, “You’re going to miss these days.” They would usually say this in response to me stating that I’m tired of going to school, changing diapers, going another night with a sick child, running kids around for sports, and/or having to clean up another spilled bowl cereal. These older (and presumably wiser) people insist that I enjoy these moments because one day, I’ll be as old as them and apparently have nothing to do, but reflect on, and relive, the past.

Every time someone says this me, I say, “Really? You truly miss these things?” The response is usually something like, “Well, I don’t miss staying up all night, but I do miss the time when my kids were little.” Okay, fine. I can buy that a little bit, but I’m still not sold. So far, I have yet to say to myself, “I wish I could go back in the past and freeze me and my family in this certain moment of time.” That doesn’t mean there haven’t been some good times that I fondly recall. It just means that as good as those times have been, I’m looking forward to the next ones.

Perhaps it’s just me, but I’ve never been one to live in the past. I understand that as time goes on, my mind and body will get older and slower and my health will gradually deteriorate (sounds bleak, but that’s reality). I have experienced this a little bit as I’ve entered my 40’s. As a teenager, I was active and could run and hike for hours on end, get a few hours of sleep, and do it all again the next day without any pain. Would it be nice to have that energy and resilience again? You bet it would. Do I spend long bits of time wishing for it? Not at all.

In my mind, the past is for learning from, the future is for looking forward to, and the present is for living in.

When I graduated from high school, was I sad? No, because I’d just spent twelve years knowing this moment was coming. When I married my wife, did I miss being single? No, because I’d spent a year dating her with this goal in mind. When my first child was…

Brian Thatcher

Husband, father, accountant, and article writer.