Money: What’s Hers, Mine, and Ours

Growing up, I rarely heard my parents talk about their finances. My knowledge was limited to being told they didn’t have the money to buy me something at the store. While I didn’t always believe them, I had no contrary evidence to offer, so I just had to hope that I could somehow scrape by that day without a candy bar, soda, and about ten new toys (A tough childhood indeed). The few conversations I do remember, however, involved the two of them discussing what they were going to do with their money. For reference, my dad worked while my mom, who took an odd part-time job now and then, was mostly at home. At no point did I hear either of them say something along the lines of, “It’s my money and I’ll spend it however I want.” The household finances always involved the two of them.

Before I got married, my fiancé and I had a discussion about how our finances would be set up. We each had checking and savings accounts and she had some school loans she was paying off (I hadn’t started school yet). In my mind, the set up was simple: We have joint checking and savings accounts and we work together to pay off her loans. This fit her thinking as well and thus we combined our resources. Once we were married and moved in together, we put our names on the monthly bills and were equally responsible for paying them. Again, this made sense to me. Being a religious man, the Good Book talks about a man and a woman becoming one after they are married/joined together. In my eyes, my wife and I were a team. It didn’t matter who earned the money and who, eventually, took…